Today, a lot of people seem to fall in-love with anyone they meet without following some guides, that's why they fall into failed relationships and marriages. There are certain factors you should consider when choosing a partner or a spouse.
Before choosing someone, you should first understand what you want in a person and want you don't want. This way, you can easily identify who suits you better.
Here, are some qualities you should look out for before falling in love, or before choosing your future spouse:
1). Consider The Qualities You What In A Partner:
Religion:
If you're Jewish and want to marry Jewish, "stick with your own kind" since not everyone who wants to marry a Jew will convert to Judaism.
Family values:
Are you dying to have five kids, or do you refuse to have children under any circumstances? Though people may change their minds more than you think, this is something to consider as you look for someone who shares your ideas (though you shouldn't talk about this right when you meet someone, obviously.)
Personality:
Though you can't predict someone's personality in advance, there may be a few things that are a must for you. Do you have a killer sense of humor and absolutely need a person who shares your love for laughter? Are you naturally a bit nervous and need someone who is more laid-back to center you? Keep this in mind as you look for the perfect person for you.
Attitude toward relationships:
Are you looking for someone who wants to spend every waking second with you, or do you want someone who really understands the meaning of "alone time"? This is more important than you think.
Social bearing:
Do you want someone who is fun and has a ton of friends around, or a person who is more reserved with just a few close and loyal friends? If you're a social butterfly and your special someone is more of a wallflower, you can bring out his social side -- or it can be a problem.
Similar interests:
Though the person you love probably shouldn't share all of your interests, or maybe not even many of them, you should still have a few interests that you both can share so you can keep your relationship going. If you're a novelist and your loved one refuses to read, or if you're a fitness instructor and he has never seen a gym, you may run out of things to talk about. But maybe not! This one is fluid.
2). Consider The Qualities You Don't Want:
Lack of attraction:
Physical attraction can grow, but it is not overrated. Though you may not want to rip off your husband's shirt fifty years -- or hey, a few years -- down the line, you should have a baseline of attraction that keeps things going. Even if the person fits the mold in all other aspects, sadly, you just can't force yourself to be attracted to someone.
Lack of agreement on something that really matters to you:
Example, if you're a die-hard football football and s/he hates it, there might be problem. But you never know -- you can have fun disagreeing about some other things. Generally speaking, if there's something that defines who you are that your future spouse absolutely doesn't understand, then you may have a problem.
Geographical incompatibility:
You may have found the love of your life, but he may live in Hawaii. If you literally live a world apart and neither of you will move under any circumstances, it won't work.
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Ma questn goes lyk dis hv dated dis am datin a guy who doesn't stays in nigeria nd nxt mnth will mk our relatnshp a year but he has stop callin all of a sudden but he claims it was bcos of d fastin nd he doesn't chat wit me until I say hey so I want 2 knw if he luvs me.
ReplyDeleteTry to find out if there's a solid reason as to why he's suddenly stopped communicating.. like work, or anything else. Otherwise, he doesn't love you anymore. He's prolly seeing someone else. I'm sorry about that.
DeleteMy question is,i v a crush on ds guy n s sister s mai fwnd(tho i neva knew d guy was r bro)....wah shud i do?
ReplyDeleteTell him about your feelings, there's nothing wrong with him being your friend's brother. Or, you could first speak to his sister about it if you wish to.
DeleteI 1ce tld s sis jokingly wen i found awt e was r bro
DeleteI got s numba sumaw sha n we startd chattin,tho i lied 2 im dah i found s numba on mai fone n decided 2 check wu it was(lyk m makin hm feel m a total stranger)...d problem nw s if s sister finds mai pix on hs fone(cus e 1ce sed e liked 1 of mai pix) n she decides 2 ask im whr e knew me 4rm den i feel m dead...n den she starts 2 confront me,shits lyk dat sha...n she askin me aw i got hs numba...m confused
DeleteHi ma questn goes lyk dis dere is a guy i met 2 mnth ago but last mnth he called nd i was busy talkin wit ma bro,when i receiv it he heard him talk nd he said are dey d one am flirtin wit & wit dat statement i was annoyed nd tells him not to call me again .during d fastin he called me nd appologiz plz advice me wat can i do
ReplyDeleteYou heard the truth from the horses mouth, there's nothing to advice dear.
DeleteMa question is im already married but i realise da ma patner n i have different qualities n values,he always want me to orders frm him always bcouse he's da head of da family.how do i survive with all this
ReplyDeleteYou're married, just talk to him amicably about it. He needs to value your gender as a woman.
DeleteIn my sister weddin i met dis guy ,he was a bridegroom my patner.we started datin aftr my sister wedding .im stayim in south africa and he stayin at home in swaziland.hes been travellin since then every month to com an visit me.its been 3 month now.im confused becuz he got a galfriend and failin in luv.he told me about his galfriend bt since he was not married i decided to date him.im failin in luv with bt im afraid what if he decided to chooze his galfriend
ReplyDeleteI need an advice pls. I am married bt b4 my marriage i hd a b/f n we luvd each oda so much bt i had 2 relocate 2 anorda state whl Dar i met my huby still used 2 remba my b/f nw my huby s misbhavn n d luv s nolonga dar n i hapn 2 travel n meet my Bf who wnts m bak.he s married bt wtot kids n i wnt hm bak 2 we evn made passionate luv.nw my huby hs Ben beggn m 2 4gv hm bt i dnt luv hm again. We hv 2 kids a boy n a girl wat do i do.
ReplyDeleteI have an issue here. My classmate in the uni was asking me out after we left skool in 2012. I decided to date him bt hes in sweden and am in nigeria. We talk on fone nd all of a sudden communication started getting week nd for almost a year we didnt talk or chat. Coz he left all social media. Dis year june he came bak begging dat we shld continue. He even told me of a white gal hes dating I agreed to come bak coz he said he can't marry d white lady nd dat hes coming home to marry me nxt year. He has started doing wat he did d other time dat broke our communication. I love dis guy nd hes hurting me seriously. I chwatwd on him wit anoda guy bt I dont want to cheat on him again. I love him nd will wait for him. Hes attitude fears me. I dont want to wait nd he doesn't come or nt marry me.
ReplyDeleteI met this guy more than a yr ago,and he wanted marriage, nor he stopped talking abt marriage
ReplyDeleteKaya how do i speak to you privately?? im having issues with my fiance ,i tried talking to everyone around me but they seem to have a different perspective that is not helping at all
ReplyDeleteWe have been together for 5 years blessed with a beautiful daughter,we did not plan the pregnancy,he gave me his WORD he will take care of everything if we keep the baby,mind you i was still in school and also wanted to register a masters degree.Currently the pipe dream he feed me did not work ,so now im the one who had to drift away from my dreams and find a job to support the baby,he is been looking for a job without luck and he decided to go back to school.I feel like i am the only one taking strain ,all he does is hug me and tell me we will be alright in future ,what about now ,what if i wont live long enough to see the future he is promising?my patience is wearing off and i find it hard to believe his promises..Please help kaya
ReplyDeleteDear read, my question is, I have a guy that lives in abroad, but he doesn't call me most at times unless I be the one that called him. He prefer chatting to me. Not withstanding, he stopped chatting to me. I have to asked him what is the problem all about? He said that I should not border myself. That he want to put his mind together. Ok I have gave him that chance to think. But since then he stopped chatting to me. Even if he saw my message, he wouldn't respond to that. I have asked him severally that is there any problem with him, he keep saying no problem. Please tell me what to do, should i forget him?
ReplyDelete